The Simpsons' New Year's Resolutions

FOX has issued the cutest press release today announcing New Year's resolutions of their Simpson family for 2007.

Here is how the Springfieldians have vowed to change their ways next year:

HOMER: I resolve to lose 10 pounds, and then gain it back by Valentine's Day.

MARGE: I resolve to finally learn how to make pancakes that don't stick to the pan. Bart helped me come up with that one.

KRUSTY: In 2007, I promise not to keep using the same old jokes I've been telling since 1961.

CHIEF WIGGUM: In the coming year, I resolve to learn how to work the safety on my gun.

COMIC BOOK GUY: In 2007, I resolve to boldly go where I have never gone before out on a date with a woman.

BARNEY: I resolve to quit drinking coffee. It leaves less room for beer.

NED FLANDERS: I resolve to be pious and kind and gentle and yippee, skippee I already am! Happy 2007, everybody!

The Simpsons return with an all-new episode "The Wife Aquatic" on Sunday, January 7 at 8pm and here is how FOX describes the episode:

While watching a home movie, Marge becomes depressed as she is reminded of memorable childhood vacations spent at Barnacle Bay.

Hating to see Marge sad, Homer and the kids take her on a surprise trip to the bay, only to discover that it has turned into a rundown mess due to the absence of fish.

Homer and the kids lovingly give the boardwalk a whole new makeover for Marge.

But when Homer accidentally lights the renovated carousal on fire, stirring up an angry mob of townspeople, more than just waves come crashing down.

"Ugly Betty" Returns January 4
Alma Hodge Crashes Bree's Party on "Desperate Housewives"
Meredith's Father Returns on "Grey's Anatomy"
Love Triangle Sizzles on "Brothers & Sisters"
Kate and Sawyer Run on "LOST" February 7

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